Running in Circles
by KitKat Roar
Summary: Bonnie had always had clarity... until the fateful day the Salvatores arrived... Or returned. Her bff is in love with them-possibly both of them simultanously.All Bonnie gets is the short end of the stick...cleaning up after them and never knowing love...
1. Chapter 1

I doubt there is anything that could pull me back to the Bonnie I had been before the Salvatore brothers showed up. I doubt there is anything that could return me to the ignorant happiness I had known before their supernatural bad luck wrecked havoc on my life. I doubt that I will ever have that sense of security I had known before I had to make sure I didn't invite anyone into my home.

I am so full of doubts.

The house is quiet but the familiar smells and scents are most welcome. The familiar wood grains of the floor, the soft green and orange hues of the curtains and lamps and the old worn out couch Dad loves to lounge in. I am home but full of doubt and fear.

If I lay low for a few days, remain quiet and invisible-I may just get a moment of peace in the cursed Mystic Falls.

"Hello" I answer my phone groggily, trying to feel for my bed side lamp switch.

"Bonnie"

"Elena?" I sit up and peer into the darkness, my heart already picking up speed.

"Are you back yet?" she asks, her voice soft and filled with emotion. "I really need you, Bon…"

"Uh…" I sigh, finding the little switch and flicking it. My room is flooded with the soft orange colour of my flowery lampshade. "I am back Lena"

"Great, did you tell…"

"I told Jeremy I would be here on Friday" I tell her. "Wanted to surprise him"

"Yeah, of course" she sighs. "Damon found Stephan" 

She utters the two names I hate hearing; the two names that I associate with all things _bad _in my life.

"Bonnie?"

"I'm here, Elena" I say softly. "I'll come by your place tomorrow-for breakfast-and surprise Jeremy then, okay?"

"Thanks Bon, love you" she sighs and the line goes dead.

How do I find myself entrapped in all this? All I want to do is finish my senior year, have my father and I rebuild our relationship and enjoy my cute boyfriend. That's all I want. But the Salvatore brothers won't let me….

"I am not trying to save you" I tell him and his eyes widen just a little bit in surprise.

"So you are trying to help Elena?" he asks, a conceited grin on his face. "You are trying to help your 'best friend'?"

"I am trying to save myself" I whisper, turning away from him. "I am trying to save my life and my future"

"The future is subjective, Bonnie" he says softly. "The future is the carrot dangled over our heads so we can carry on moving"

"I saw her dead, Stefan" I cry, wheeling around him and not bothering to hide my despair and fear anymore. "I saw her and Jeremy dead. You killed them"  
>"No, I wouldn't…"he starts but he stops, looking down on the floor unsure.<p>

"He makes you do it, Stephan" I whisper. "He makes you kill them and then he turns you into… he uses witch's magic and you become… a true monster. Damon dead. Caroline dead. Tyler and you will kill us all. Kill everyone, Stephan"

"No…"he moans. "Why would he do that?"

"Because he is _Klaus_" I finish, smiling a little manically. "Because Mystic Falls should _fall _and what better way for it to do that than the descendants of the first counsel? The descendants that are the real monsters in the dark?"

"…so you are going to keep me tied up here until what?" he asks, smiling sadly. "Until Klaus dies of old age?"

"Shut up and enjoy the quiet" I murmur, walking away from his still body tied to the beam. "Shut up and think about all the bad you have done"  
>"it's turned off, Bonnie" he croons as I walk up the stairs of the basement. "it's turned off and he told me I was never to urn it back on".<p> 

"When you say you took care of my brother…?" Damon asks, tilting the glass of whiskey in his hand contemplatively. "I hope you don't mean…"  
>"He is safe" I sigh. "I am not telling you anything more in case…"<p>

"In case somehow I spill to the wrong ears" he says softly, watching me from over the rim of his glass. "Thanks little witch… we owe you one yet again"  
>"You owe me a thousand and trust me, I will be coming for my due" I tell him, pouring a glass of his whiskey and gulping it down swiftly.<p>

It burns my throat and my sinuses are under attack but the little headache in the corner of my already crowded brain numbs some what. Damon watches me in wonder, his sharp cobalt eyes wide and intense and he smiles.

"And here I was…" he grins. "Thinking I was the only one sane enough to get wasted when I am stressed"

"It's just a little sip"

"That's how it starts Mocha"  
>"Don't call me Mocha, Damon" I growl, walking over to watch the slow burning logs in the ancient fire place of the Salvatore house. "Don't call me, period"<br>"I hate how much you hate me" he chuckles. "Elena is here"

The door opens and I hear her groan loudly when Damon asks her if she missed him. I hate that she pretends she isn't interested in him. I hate that she tries to hide the effect he has on her. If everyone had just been honest with themselves from the get go, we wouldn't be in this mess. If I hadn't turned to my supernatural side, I wouldn't be losing my boyfriend to his dead ex girlfriends. If we had just stayed clear of the two good looking new boys in town that fateful day, dear Elena-things would be as they should be.

"You found him, Bonnie?" she asks me, a desperate hope gleaming in her brown eyes.

I nod once and my previous anger at her past actions disappears when she hugs me in fearsome love and appreciation. The bond we share… the _bonds_ we share…

"He is safe" I breathe, unwrapping her slender arms from my neck carefully. "I am going to research on how to cleanse his mind of the hypnotic effect…"

"Just say 'Compulsion'!" Damon hisses. "He is compelled. You are going to get him uncompelled"

"Whatever" I mumble. "Everything is going to be alright. We just have to stay low. Klaus does not suspect anything from us. If we stay low and stay out of his way…"  
>"He is making vampire-werewolf hybrids, Witch" Damon hisses, zooming towards me and terrorizing my personal space. "We cannot just stay out of his way… tell her Elena!"<p>

"Bonnie" she says softly but before she even continues I see it in her eyes. She is with him. She is always with _them._

"You court _death _Elena" I tell her desperately, backing away from her-from them. "You court death _every _time and I have _tried_… Don't do this! I told you about my dream!"

"I told you that the future isn't set in stone" Damon answers for her.

"Your future is… if you carry this out" I cry. "I… I can't be here when you ask me for my help and I give it to you and you _still _put yourself in danger!"

"Bonnie…"she moans, reaching her hand out to me.

"No, it's done" I say. "I will see you when I see you, Elena. I love you always but you have to stop abusing my love"

"I need blood" Stephan moans, watching me with hungry eyes.

She hasn't asked for his whereabouts' because she knows as long as he is with me, the idiotic goodness inside of me will keep him safe for her. They know this is they best way for them to carryout their dance for Klaus and his hybrids. Leave Stephan with Bonnie while they go on their many suicide missions.

"I need peace, I'll trade you" I murmur and he chuckles roughly. "I need for your body to use up all the human blood in it"

"Why" he asks, his voice low and raspy. His eyes are wide and large with an inhuman hunger, the veins above his cheeks prominent as he smells me-as he craves me.

"Because…" I sigh. "Before all of this… before…"

"Before I decided to be completely selfless and turn the switch off…"he urges me, watching me with his hungry dark eyes, his lips parted and revealing two large glistening canines.

"You made the most sense" I sigh, closing my eyes and slumping against the wall. "You Stephan… had the voice of reason. Damon is selfish about Elena… he is only really concerned about her and not the rest of the town. Caroline…argh, you know how she can be. And i…"  
>"And you have had enough and want to give up but you are to afraid of how selfish that would make you. You are too afraid of the consequences of your selfishness on the rest of the town" he finishes, licking his ashen chapped lips.<p>

"I am afraid all the time, of everything and of everyone" I moan, covering my face. "and I… I miss you I guess"  
>"I miss you too, Bonnie" he whispers. "I…"<p>

"Yes?"

"Never mind, it's silly" he says softly, shaking his head.

"You can tell me" I beg him, crawling closer to his tied up form on the floor.

"You wouldn't believe me if I said it" he says smiling sadly. "Maybe if I whispered it to you…"

"Yes?"I urge, moving a few feet closer.

Through the darkness his eyes glimmer and he smiles revealing fully how long his feeding teeth are and I realise I have done something rather stupid. I showed him my weakness and he fed on it. I showed him my weakness forgetting he wasn't really the old Stephan I could seek comfort from. This Stephan had only one thing on his mind.

Blood.

"I want your blood Bonnie" he says softly, a low husky sound that filters through the air to my ears and sends a shiver down my spine. "You and your sympathetic emotions are far too naïve"

He pushes of the floor, covering the remaining space between us and in my dazed disorientation he latches onto my jaw violently, his teeth scraping my skin away and his strength knocking me to the ground. Before he can grip on my neck in his hungered demented snapping, I feel into his mind for that soft sensitive piece of membrane that forms a tube for his brain to receive blood. I squeeze on his blood vessel and he hisses, convulsing and rolling of me.

I get up quickly, my hand ghosting over the slash on my jaw and I see the red smooth thick liquid on my fingers. He is still tied up-hands and feet- but had managed to loosen the rope somewhat so he could move a few feet into the perimeter surrounding the post I had him tied to. He twitches on the floor, shuddering and growling.

"God, if ever I had doubts about you…" I whisper to him.

"I…"he groans, laughing frenziedly. "Cleared them up somewhat, eh?"

"Stephan…" I sigh, looking back at him one last time as I head up the stairs.

"Bonnie…" Elena whispers, her hand going over her mouth in shock as her eyes widen at the jagged smarting scar on my jaw.

"It's nothing… it will heal in no time" I sigh, picking at my chips. It seems so unnecessary to come to school with everything that's happening. It seems so unnecessary to even brother _breathing _with everything that's happening…

"I did something _bad_" Caroline says, a shy smile on her face. She places her food tray carefully in front of her as she takes her seat on our usual table. "I am _very _bad… or good, depends I suppose"

"As long as there is no dead human somewhere, I am fine Caroline" I let out a heavy breath, rolling my eyes at the weird things that pop into my teenage mind when one of my best friends tells me they did something 'Bad'. Normal kids would have thought maybe drugs, stole their parents car…

"I'm with Bonnie" Elena says seriously. "As long as no one died…"  
>"You guys have got to <em>chill <em>out on the whole 'I'm a vampire' thing!" she groans, prodding at her own chips. "is it me or does this food get worse…"

"What did you do" Elena sighs.

"You really want to know" she asks, eyeing Elena and I with twinkling eyes. we both look at each other and nod wearily.

"I…."she breathes dramaticly. "Caroline….had _great _sex"

"You and Matt are back together?" I ask, smiling a little at the normality of her ridiculously suspenseful 'thing'.

"no…"she frowns a little and her eyes crinkle at the corners in her 'I am sad but hate it' way.

"You didn't…"Elena stammers. "Not… Damon?"

"Ew, no. I'm done with your seconds, Elena" she says, frowning more distinctly now.

"Then…" I ask but Tyler plonks beside Caroline and smiles at me before greeting Elena.

"Uh, hi" he says to Caroline who goes into full blown glowing giggling teenage mode.

"Hi" she says shyly. "See you, uh… later on…"

"Later on" he says softly, looking at her a second too long and then gets up and heads for the jock table.

"You didn't!" Elena shrieks, a grateful smile spreading on her face. Oh, the complications if it had been Damon…

"Yeah" Caroline says nodding. "And let me tell you… it was… wild"

"Right" I groan.

"Bonnie, you really need to do something about your little lady" Caroline says grinning. "If you keep this up, locking her away and not letting any air there… she is going to divorce you"

"I'm sorry about the other day" Stephan wheezes, coughing a little and slumping weakly against the wooden beam.

"Are you now" I sigh, looking through my history notes.

"I am…" he says, hacking and cackling simultaneously. "Sorry you are so naïve and desoerate for a shoulder to cry on. Emily was _never…_"  
>"I am not Emily" I say dangerously low, already feeling the spirit in me flaring and my nerves and senses becoming too sensitive. "You and your idiot brother need to stop expecting her to pop up through my body"<br>"Her body was far superior" he grins at me. "Far more… appealing. No one finds you appealing Bonnie. No one wants you"  
>"Shut up"<p>

"Bonnie the little spare witch. If you died… who would mourn you…"  
>"Shut up, Stephan" I say softly, peering at his shaking form tied up in the dark corner of the second basement of my house. The hidden basement with the thirteen seals. Gram's special basement…<p>

"You resorted to Jeremy" he says smiling sweetly at me. "Little Jeremy, your best friends young unbalanced brother…?"

"Is this your grand master plan to get me to give you some blood?"

"Hmm" he murmurs, and the glint of light that signalled the position of his eyes disappearing. "I'm just playing with you, Bonnie. Just toying with you…"

"Well, playtime is over" I say, gathering my school work and standing up. "Enjoy your alone time"

"How are things with Stephan…" Elena asks, following me to my car.

"Slow" I sigh. "we have to allow for the blood in his system to completely be used up first and then I can only try the spell and ritual three days after. Elena, this is the first time this has been done, this is the first time I have actually made a spell of my own… things could go wrong. Things could go terribly wrong…"

"It's better that your dream of him turning into a monster and wiping out the town!" Elena says, looking around frantically as though she expects Stephan to appear bloodied and guilty before us.

"What if the spell is what _turns _him…" I whisper to her, my own fears at being the reason things end tragically for us emerging.

"No, Bon…"she sighs, smiling a little. "We are letting it get to us. We can do it. You can do it"

"We have no choice" I moan as she walks away from me, resuming the popular Elena façade and waving to the innocent humans around us.

"How is she…"he asks, his voice weak and strained. The blood cravings are intense and I am careful; preparing the vervain perimeter around his post with an eye out to his slagging form. He may be weak but I was sure the hunger could grant him strength…

"She who" I ask him, pausing when I spot a dead rat near him. Desperate measures I suppose…

"You know" he sighs. "the love of y existence, the reason I am tied up on this post feeding of rats again…"

"She is well" I say, smiling at him. "Enjoying Damon's company as they run around trying to find clues on how to stop Klaus…"  
>"She must not…."he hisses and then his frame is attacked by a multitude of hacking coughs and rasping intakes of breath.<p>

"Tried to dissuade them" I murmur, sitting o the stool outside of his vervain dome. "You know how she can get with a quest… and Damon is unable to _not _be around her so…"

"He will kill them"

"you don't care" I whisper to him.

"I do" he sighs. "Whether I have it switched off or… I care at some level. They have _wasted _my efforts and loss of humanity"

"They are idiots" I say smiling.

"You are helping…" he asks hopefully. "Keeping an eye out for them"  
>"They don't know that I am" I huff. "I told them I wanted no part… I tried to get them to understand that some evil is above all of us…"<p>

"Wise like your grandmother" Stephan says, a smile playing on his chapped lips.

Its when he says this that I remember he is much older than I am. That he is actually in a very broad probability-wise under that young face. When has knowledge ever been reasonable when it comes to love though. We are all bound under the tyranny of love…

"You are staring" he sighs.

"I…"I mumble, looking at the dried vervain in my hands. "I have to go"

"You always do, Bonnie" he smiles. "Alone time for Stephan again?"  
>"I guess"<p>

"Until…" he sighs, tilting his head feebly. "Until next time then"

Is it sad that the one person I feel comfortable talking to is tied to a post surrounded by charms and invisible vervain force fields as well as thirteen seals that secure him to the bottom of my grandmother's hidden post?

I guess it is at some degree but my boyfriend or ex boyfriend; I'm not too sure yet-is of somewhere chatting to the ghosts of all his exes. My best friend is too caught up ijn her ridiculously chaotic personal life and Caroline is doing it with a werewolf.

Vampire stuck on a post it is then.

**REVIEW TO LET ME KNOW YOU ARE INTERESTED IN THIS STORY CONTINUING. **


	2. Chapter 2

"Where is Elena" I ask Jeremy.

He is sitting alone by the kitchen island, head lowered in his hands as though it weighed a ton and wearing the same hoody I saw him yesterday at school. He starts at the sound of my voice but does not lift his head to reveal his face.

"With Damon" he sighs. "Some where doing something that might possibly end their lives"

"Right" I say, turning to leave and but hesitating when I hear him whisper my name. "Jeremy… you need a ride to school?"

"No, Bon" he says dryly. "I won't be coming to school today. Something about seeing my exes makes me ill"

"Right"

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Caroline and Tyler gross me out. It is hard for me to get over my supernatural prejudice-more so because I may belong to the world of it. It is hard for me to wrap my head around a vampire and werewolf frolicking about and giving each other goo goo eyes.

"Bonnie" Caroline giggles. "You are coming with us to the Grill, right?"

"I don't think so" I mumble. "I have a Math's exam to study for…"

"Exam?"

"Don't worry about it Caroline" I sigh "You can always redo high school a thousand times"

"True" and with that she returns her attention to Tyler's neck.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"You look like hell"

"You look…" he peers up to me, smiling shyly and leaves his sentence hanging.

"Wow, we are getting some where…" I say sarcastically. "The cocky damonish comebacks are down to a new low…"

"Don't push me witch" Stefan sighs. "I'm crabby when I haven't fed"

"What you going to do about it, huh?" I taunt him. "Stun me with your intense hazel gaze and furrowed brow?"

"I might do just that" he chuckles and then starts hacking away in dry consecutive coughs.

"I really don't want you to be hurting, Stephan" I say softly.

"I know Bonnie…" he rasps. "out of all of this… maybe you are the real victim"

"Nah, I was born into it… just like everyone else."  
>"But you are good…" he insists.<p>

"You are good too, Stephan" I sigh. "Hell, Caroline, Elena even…. Dare I say, Damon? We are all good. The real baddies are Klaus…"

"I am still compelled" he whispers. "I can feel it… what you are trying here…"  
>"The blood, Stephan" I say softly. "The blood has to leave your system. You have to go into a sort of comma and then I can try and use some kind of hypnotherapy…"<br>"No witch spell?" he chuckles.

"oh, there will be a witch spell" I smile sadly at him. "I am trying to get the spell, incantations and ritual together…"  
>"Wait" he says, voice clear and alarmed. "you are <em>coming <em>up with the spell?"

"That's dangerous Bonnie" he hisses. "you are not Emily…!"

"Everyone keeps saying that!" I shout. "You think I want to do this. Do you think I want to risk you…"  
>"Then again, I really am not worth much…" he sneers. "here in this dark dungeon with no blood or god forbid <em>food…<em>"

"Elena begged me, Stephan" I sigh, calming my self. "I had dreams of you-visions-and ever since you have been in here and the blood leaving your system, the outcome has changed. This should work…"  
>"If I die" he says, a sad smile on his lips. "if I <em>truly <em>die… won't you tell Damon he has won?"

"You and I both know there is no competition here" I look at him intensely. "he loves her and you love her."

"And you love Jeremy" he laughs. "one big happy messed up family!"

"I have to go make supper for my Dad" I sigh, getting up.

"Save some for me" he grates, bowing his head in resignation and humming a melancholy tone.

"I'll do better, Stephan" I whisper. "I'll save you"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**STEPHAN SALVATORE**

The mind is a complex organ… here is no doubt about that when it comes to many beings but the mind of a vampire… a being who has seen the world through tens of thousands of lifetimes… the mind is torture device. Memories weaving in and out of every thing you ever had, everything you ever lost and everyone you ever loved.

Elena… that was the one word, the one name that resounded in my mind through the compelling. Elena… that was the name I chanted as I turned it off and stopped caring. But even under the nauseating feeling that comes with resisting a compelling, trying to stay within the easy bound of not caring for my victims… my mind, complex and stubborn, would bring her to the forefront and bend me slightly-ever so slightly over the thick rod of Klaus's order and for a moment I would feel sick with resistance of caring. Her name is caring. Her name means feeling. Her name means love.

In my weak state in this dark pit of Emily's descendants making, I feel the nauseating sweet stickiness of his compelling challenging my mind. I could have just ripped her thought out but I didn't. I told myself quickly that it was to save myself… if she died I would rot in this dungeon forever. It worked, it kept the sickness at bay and I could carry on.

I risk my life to save her, I risk my humanity to keep her alive and she willingly courts death with Damon. She willingly seeks him out… with Damon. What twisted part o life I have reached for being so thankful he loves her as he does; because he will keep her safe in her life threatening stubbornness…

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**BONNIE**

He needs to reach the point between death and life-the point between awareness and supernatural attentiveness and then, only then can I hypnotise him. The hypnosis is simpler… a simple locket iron locket that holds a mind numbing spell connected to a sterling silver chain.

The spell…

An awakening spell combined with a repelling spell for his conscious and the compelling. The vervain will play a bit part of this. the vervain will be crucial to this because its properties are essential to fighting compelling. To warding it off… I just have to search for a ten year old vervain bush with virgin seeds, dry them up in the sun until they are brownish purple and then dip his blood in them to make a thick paste. Simple and clean; as all witch spell are…

"A ten year old vervain bush…?" Jeremy asks sceptically, pulling his feet through the rough grass as we move through Caroline's back yard. "And you think the Sheriff has it…?"  
>"Yes, because she was aware of vampires for a while…" I sigh irritably. He is uncomfortable being around Caroline's mum… even on her property… something to do with smoking marijuana… he doesn't know I know.<p>

"Why don't you have?" he asks, pushing the giant elephant leaf in the garden and peering into the shadows.

"Witches can't be compelled and well…" I sigh, trying not to let the close proximity with my ex derail me from the task at hand. "We need an _old _bush, basically"  
>"And an old bush we have!" Jeremy says, pulling at something at the back of the many giant flowers in the small garden patch by the wall. He uproots a fairly big vervain bus with long roots.<p>

"Why do you need it again?" he asks, dangling the plant away from me.

"Vervain weaponry for Caroline" I mumble, trying to grab the bush from him.

"And for me?" he asks, smiling a little.

"You don't need weaponry" I say softly, reaching for the bush and snatching it away from him. "You need an exorcist"

"ouch"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Blood paste, awakening spell, repelling spell… vervain boundaries and caging and candles. Simple and Simple. One De-Compelled Salvatore coming right up….

**READ AND REVIEW IS THE GAME!  
>XX TJ<strong>

**AUTHORS NOTE: I know how irritating it is to stumble upon something you want to continue reading but it never gets updated. Seeing as I started this without much of a plot, it is kind of hard to get into. But the relative amount of traffic has made me think someone is actually interested in this becoming something.**

**If you have read some of my other stories you will note that I tend to do intricate plots-that take a lot of time and effort. Murmur to me in a review if this story is really truly of interest… so I can include it in my daily brainstorming sessions…**

**I do right for my own enjoyment, but that tends to be with only two stories really. **


	3. Chapter 3

"Are you sure you should be doing this alone" I asked her, shifting uncomfortably from my position at the base of the beam.

She stopped her movement of arranging different vials of odd liquids, placing candles around the dark basement and generally looking around in confusion. She stopped all of this to stand in front of me-feet away still-and glare at me in utter exasperation. She hated any mention or implication that her talents were anything less than Emily's-which they were of course but her teenage judgmental rebellion wouldn't allow her to see that.

I was the guinea pig that would have to be fried and possibly killed for her to 'prove' to the general knowledged public that she knew what she was doing. There she stands, frowning and eyes flashing with irritation and anger and full lips pouting. Full lips… hadn't I noticed them once and caught myself before the thoughts could go further…

Not now thought, when I didn't have to worry about things like heavy moral weight on every judgment…

Her expression changed swiftly, her cheeks burning suddenly with an increase in blood that perforated the air in a sweet caramel aroma and eyes leaving my face bashfully. It seems someone doesn't like being stared at…

"Bonnie" I whispered. "At least give me some animal blood so I am strong enough for this…"  
>"After everything is finished" she said softly, turning her back away from me "I don't trust you right now, Stefan"<br>Had she always said my name like that? Like it was some kind of rare exotic fruit from a beautiful island…

She lit a match and lighted three purplish candles, before blowing the little flame at the end of the match in the most alluring manner…

"This will all be over in a few seconds" she whispered, nodding her head as if to console herself too.

She picked two of the three candles and walked over to me carefully-the closest she had been since I had tasted her blood, that caramel honey and toffee blood-and paced the candles inches near me before retreating swiftly without looking at me.

I sighed and then inhaled; vervain. The little smoke puffs surrounding me from the candles swirled past my nose in a tortures haze of pain, pricking nostrils like acid and blurring my vision with a sheen of blood-tears.

"Argh…" I moaned softly and she snapped her head up as she walked over towards me with the third candle. "Don't you think you're going over board with the vervain…"

"It is essential in pushing the compelling out…"she said softly before timidly placing the candle down and rushing back. She picks something of the little tool table, sighing heavily and shaking her head a little-her back faced towards me.

"I don't like the sound of that" I chuckle uneasily as she turns her head to look at me. "You're sighing like you have to kill a little puppy…"

"And you know your no little puppy, Stefan" she says, smiling as she walks slowly towards me.

My eyes slide to her right hand were she grips the black hilt of a thick kitchen knife. It glints in the candle light briefly and I hear myself groan. The little edges of my conscious that had been seeping painfully through the barrier of Klaus' compelling whispering to me that I have turned the sweet little descendant of Emily into a killer… while the still dominant side of me-the selfish cruel side of me-hollers at the fact that I am about to die at the hands of an incompetent teenage virgin nurse.

"You don't have to do this…" I whimper, pushing back into the wooden beam futilely. "Bonnie…?"  
>She sighs, crouching by me and pulls up the sleeve of my torn worn out shirt and her hot hands contact with my skin makes me jump again in shock.<p>

"It's just a little cut, Stefan" she chuckles. "Don't be such a baby…"

"A little cut…?" I ask hysterically. "Get away from me"

She looks up at me, her face a neutral mask and I growl low. She flinches but regains her composure, ignoring my exposed vampire side and revealed teeth.

"My cat has teeth like you" says softly, reaching for my bound arm. I try to move it away but she catches it in her too small hand and pulls it straight. It is then that I realise how weak I have become… she takes the blade and angles it horizontally over my arm and slices. The skin being cut clean and crimson black dead blood oozing our… she hastily reaches behind her and takes a shallow bowl and angles my arm over it to catch the blood as it escaped.

"You thought I was going to slit your throat?" she asks darkly.

"Yes" I whisper, watching my own blood hungrily.

"It's like you don't know me under that compelling" she laughs quietly. "It's like your just expecting the worst…"

"because that's… that's all I have delivered. "I stammer, closing my eyes as the feeling of my blood leaving me weakens my already pathetic state. "I have delivered the worst…"

"Not for long, Stefan" she whispers, her brown eyes locking with my own the moment I open my eyes. She gets up in the same hasty manner-as though being near me could contaminate her-and returns to her little spell-cooking table.

"Where is Elena?" I ask-my voice hoarse and dry.

"Somewhere doing something" Bonnie murmurs absently, cutting something up.

"Does she know…"  
>"I told you she knows I have you and it is her who wants you de-compelled" she sighs impatiently. "You're wondering why she isn't her e to support you…"<p>

"I don't need her…" I hiss, angry at her for being right.

"It may be messy" Bonnie says softly, ignoring my petulance. "Besides her going of on her elaborate missions with Damon… this may be messy and she doesn't want to bear witness to it if it is catastrophic"  
>"so she leaves you to hold all the guilt if it ends badly" I laugh. "I never ealised she could be so selfish…"<p>

"She isn't and you know it" she snaps. "I am doing this for everyone. We are doing this for everyone…"

"What's in it for you " I whisper abruptly.

"Peace" she murmurs, turning around finally. "If only for a moment… it will be one less thing to worry about"

She is holding the little bowl with my blood. She places in front of me and surrounds the wooden bowl with five white stones and kneels before it. the bowl is between us and the candle lights around the basement dim momentarily before spiking up in long licking flames.

"This is happening, huh" I whisper, watching her now tanned caramel skin in the dim light. She nods once, before inhaling sharply and closing her eyes. the candles go up violently before a gust of winds sweeps through the almost air tight basement and blows them out. Bonnie begins chanting and the flames return, burning blue in the darkness and filling the air with a cold heat.

She thrums before me, hands outstretched to her sides, her hair moving freely in the now still air and lips rushing furiously through each incantation. The floor comes alive with a glowing blue intricate design from where she had scribbled unseeing things earlier on with a wax stick. We sit on a blue spider web after a moment and I watch in awe as the candles in front of me lift of the ground.

Five minuted go by and I feel no different.

"Still compelled, Bonnie" I snicker, leaning back on the post.

She chants louder and I think I may have irritated her.

"It's not working little witch" I sneer. "Maybe you should ask Emily for some of her power and knowledge…"

She scowls, eyes opening and glaring at me and begins to chant faster and louder-an obvious dig that I should be quiet.

She sways from her kneeling position, her raised arms faltering a little but her eyes remain locked with my own. I smirk at her and she frowns violently. Her nose scrunches up and she grimaces a little from pain.

"Give it up Bonnie" I murmur, watching in an odd fascination as a thick red liquid escapes from her nose and drops into the wooden bowl she is leaning over.

I look up at her but she has closed her eyes now, the room filling with an exponential energy that levitates the candles around us and crawls all over my skin in a sick cold feeling.

"Bonnie…" I cry, as I feel the energy enter me and rip through my veins. Veins filled with no blood but my own… easily flammable blood…

My head thrums with a hard noise and I hit my head back onto the sturdy post hard and groan. My stomach churns and I cough up a little blood.

"Stop…" I groan. "You are hurting me, Bonnie!"

In seconds, I am consumed in pain. A living pain in my mind and nerves as I seizure at the base of my little prison, the vervain candles smoke sifting up into my nose and choking out any thought. My numb begins warring with itself-memories flashing and overlapping violently before the pain finally takes over. Torturous inferno's of pain lifting my body up before ripping my into two and closing my eyes from any light. In moments, the rushing sound subsides and I know I am about to die… the sound of death fills my ears…

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

**BONNIE B**

Should I stop? He is writhing and groaning in front of me-crying my name feeble and eyes rolling back into his head. Before I can decide what action to take, he slumps at the base of the wooden post, eyes half open and face drawn and ashen.

I shake my head in disbelief, unable to stop the energy flow or halt the spell. Its too late; we are too far gone but the fact of the matter rests in those dim half open eyes.

He is dead. I killed Stefan Salvatore.

Death is a funny thing.

When you are cursed with living forever, never aging or changing-the word 'death' means a wholly different thing. Dying for a vampire is a temporary thing. Like having a cold… temporary but beautifully painful as you awaken from it because dying and living are two different things and doing both simultaneously is going against nature.

Nature… witches are born from it. vampires go against nature and therefore they go against witches.

He lays still on the hard cement floor, sallow and ashen. Still and lifeless. His previously bright eyes as dim as the dust surrounding him. The air is quiet except for the sound of rushing supernatural energy around us… and energy I have no control over as it takes a life of its own in the space of the basement.

The air is quiet except for my shallow sobs.

I don't know why I am crying. I knew this part was essential… I knew he had to die. The few minutes before he passed and called my name out did odd things me-to my psyche. I feel dirty. I feel like the worst kind of thing to walk the planet. Every memory of his cruelty under the compulsion and switched of humanity evaporated the second he called my name. All that was left was his kind eyes and timid smile. His soft words and warm voice.

_You have to wake him up, get a hold of yourself Bonnie _I chastised myself and got up off the dirty floor.

I crawled slowly over to him-the gold laced iron knife in my hand-and tugged his limp arm. He didn't move or start.

The knife… the magical knife I had found amongst Gram's stuff… hidden and locked away. The knife that was to go through his heart… laced with living blood. The poor bunny I had bought from the pet store… the poor white cute fluffy bunny…

It was done. The ritual and the spell completed… the knife went through his chest cavity, through his heart before I wrenched it out. The vervain paste in the bowl I had been repeating the incantation over… the paste of his own dead blood mixed with pure vervain seeds-smeared over the wound I had created and seeping through to the fibres of his heart. Once it restarted, his blood would mix with the paste and course through his body and up to his mind… cleaning the hypnosis and traces of any human blood. He would be clean and addiction free.

He would wake up the same Stefan who had comforted me numerous occasions.

We would be free of Klaus.


	4. Chapter 4

"Ngh…"

"Stefan?" she whispers over the deafening quiet.

My stomach churns painfully. I am hungry… the hunger is all I can feel at this moment, overriding the pain and the stiffness all over my body. I a hungry, and the sweet memory of human blood sets the vampire in me into a frenzied panic against my conscious.

My conscious…

I can feel… I can feel _her. _the hunger for blood isn't helped by the sound of her frantic panicked heart and the strangeness in my own emotions is overwhelmed by feeling _her _fear and hope twisting inside her-inside me-with the hunger…

"Stop that" I mumble, lifting my head up and trying to open my eyes. "Stop it…"

"Stop…?" she asks her voice quavering and pitching with the manic euphoria she feels at my formulation of words.

"Bonnie…" I murmur inhaling sharply through my nose and being caught up in her caramel scent and my grumbling stomach. "Something isn't right…"  
>"That would be you feeling Stefan!" she squeals.<p>

"No… its not that" I sigh stretching my leg painfully out on the floor and knocking a candle over.

"You can't feel…?" she whispers.

"No… I'm feeling alright" I chuckle. "Pain, remorse and you"

"What… wait what?"

"I can feel some of your feelings Bonnie" I say slowly and clearly."Was that part of your spell?"

"No…" she says softly. "Maybe it is a side effect or something. The spell is supposed to push out the compelling and clear your addiction…"

"Hmm" I groan tugging at my bound hands. "I'm still tied up?"

"Like I was going to just untie you without proper certainty"

"You don't trust your mad witchy skills?" I tease, rasping a little.

"I don't trust vampires" she finishes rising. "And until I am certain things worked… this is goodnight Stefan"

"Bonnie wait…" I urge, watching in horror as she takes to the stairs.

"Bonnie!" I shout as she reaches the top and shoots me one last pitying look and closes the door, candles blowing out and leaving me in darkness.

X~x~X

I wonder where she is at this moment, if she knows I have healed and I am awaiting our reunion.

_She is with Damon_ a wry voice sneers in the back of my head. Of course she is with him… he is protecting her as I had been under Klaus compelling. He is protecting her and loving her at the same time. My beautiful Elena… my yellow rose…

"Okay, I seriously don't want to be drooling over Elena!" Bonnie shrieks, flinging the door open at the top of the stairs and rushing down two sets of stairs at a time.

"Do you know how distracting it is to listen to her talk and wonder what her lips feel like?" she asks, her voice pitched and her hands raking through her ebony hair.

"Uh… it's your spell Bonnie?" I whisper, smiling a little as she paces in front of me in frustration.

"So I am just wondering" she asks finally after pacing for a good seven minutes in silence. "Is that all you do when I leave you in here?"

"Think about Elena?" I ask

"Well, yeah?"

"Uh… sometimes I think about Damon" I say closing my eyes "Damon _with _Elena"  
>"That's just sad" she says shaking her head in disgrace for me.<p>

"You are telling me you don't think about Jeremy?" I ask self conscious at how pathetic I must seem to her.

"I do…" she says seriously, kneeling in front of my slumped form. "I think about how he lost out on a good thing because of a dead girl"  
>"Damon is alive"<br>"You are both dead" she says smiling a little. "In a way…"  
>"He is my brother and he loves her…"<p>

"You are screwed either way" she murmurs, rising and dusting her knees. "Because she loves you both"

"Enough commentary on my dismal love life" I laughed uneasily watching her as she removed her magic candles room of off the floor "How is Jeremy?"

"Jeremy who?" she murmured sulkily turning her back to me and busying herself with something inconsequential.

"Jeremy… my true loves brother?" I asked her.

"Don't know who you mean" she lied

"Oh okay, we can dissect me but not you" I chuckled

"I didn't murder anyone so yeah" she said, looking at me finally. "You have no rights"

"When can you set me free?"

"When I am sure…" she said seriously. "Elena has to be back… I think she would be better suited to differentiate between the 'Ripper'…"

I grimaced when she said this

"…and Stefan" she finished.

"I suppose" I whispered. "To be on the safe side…"

"When is there a safe side with vampired" she laughed.

"When the vampire has a conscious" I whispered. "When killing _feels _bad"

"Right" she finished, shaking her head. "later Stefan"

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

**BONNIE B.**

My world is crumbled around me but I knew I had to be strong I knew I had no choice because it was a reflex reaction of my being a witch. To survive and fight for good. It didn't mean that crawling under my bed didn't sound appealing or ditching the lunch line to avoid Jeremy wasn't a feasible option… it meant that tackling it all head on made me Bonnie.

My word might have crumbled around me but by the heavens and earth I was still going to remain Bonnie.

"So he is alive then?" Damon asked softly, eyeing me intensely with his disarming ice blue gaze.

"Of course…" I hiss. "He is Elena's _boyfriend_"

"Yeah, Yeah" he says waving his hand dismissively in the air and frowning irritably at me for reminding him.

"So I can see him?" Elena asks, wrapping a hand over her torso, her eyes wide and hopeful. "you fixed him right, Bonnie?"

Fix-what a broad word. Does the fact that we have shared a few literal feelings count as a problem… No, I think we will diagnose that as a minor side effect. Like Hell I'm going to let it be known to Damon that my spell wasn't a hundred percent…

"One hundred and two percent fixed…" I answer Elena, my voice pitching oddly. "Just wait a little while for the vampire munchies to subside though…"

"You are perfect Bonnie" she squealed attacking me in a hug. Damon eyed my stiff return of my best friends affection with a raised eyebrow.

"Well…" he drawled, swirling his drink thoughtfully in his hand "excuse me while I hold out on the… squealing and jumping until I see my brother with these blue blinkers"

"Whatever Demon" I huffed, releasing Elena and wiping her happy tears from her eyes.

"It's Damon" Elena said seriously and I gawked at her in shock.

"he… he is helping us and…" she stammered looking from Damon to me in frustration.

"And you just want everyone to get along" I finished for her, not feeling comfortable with her on coming Damon-hidden-emotions train wreck.

"Yes!" she exclaimed pointing a finger at me. "Exactly!"

"Oh Kay..." I mumbled, reaching for my bag. "See you at school then Elena"

I hugged quickly one last time.

"And Dem… uh, Damon" I said, not looking at him "Always a pleasure"

"Like wise witchy"

Xxx~xxx~xxX

**AUTHORS NOTE**

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